Triple Triad forum dupes - please ignore

I would join but I suck at triple triad

 

Anytime Ogreman, glad to helpout.

 

the only thing that matters is fun, I always lose in the first round but I still play

 

Welcome to GameOgre.
Nice to meet Yah,I'm shajel im also new so i don't know much about Game.Ogre
Enjoy&have fun-

 

your a smart man

 

Welcome to GameOgre.
Nice to meet Yah,I'm shajel im also new so i don't know much about Game.Ogre
Enjoy&have fun-

 

Welcome to GameOgre.
Nice to meet Yah,I'm shajel im also new so i don't know much about Game.Ogre
Enjoy&have fun-

 

Welcome to GameOgre.
Nice to meet Yah,I'm shajel im also new so i don't know much about Game.Ogre
Enjoy&have fun-

 

Welcome to Go my friend

 

good choice.

 

Mythic Saga

 

not really, lol^^^^^

 

Go APB, you can do it!

 

I am the only one who voted for gothic

 

yep you are lol. I thank its going to stay like that for a long time

 

0-2 hours for me

 

Mythic Saga New Server Gift Pack

Please send me gift code :d

 

shugo tell me what you think :<

oh btw, he just received his package and he loved it! and all the guys with him also loved it and were extremely happy hahahaha (which by the way, some already borrowed the discs immediately)

*some of the surprises - deathadder black edition mouse and goliathus speed edition gaming mousepad, scrapbook, picture frames*




bear with me :<

we only spend 2 days of the week talking and stuff (saturday and sunday)... with the time difference and all we only spend just a couple of hours per day like 4-6 (on a saturday and sunday) talking and playing our games together.

my rant is, he's gonna be out drinking for a couple of hours AGAIN (2-3) for those 2 days and said that he'd be talking to me afterwards.
when i told him about my feelings that he'll spend less time with me he said he'll still be talking to me even though he's drunk. my point is, i don't want to talk to him being drunk and all coz that aint talking. and it only makes him sleepy and tired so we'll spend less time together.

am i being selfish? are my feelings in the wrong direction? coz im feeling really sad right now and i really dont know what to do :<

and i was over the moon happy earlier when he called me up and talked to me about the package...

 

I agree with you that him drinking and talking isn't really talking. It could be that he needs the time to socialize with his friends and that can only be done at a time before he can talk to you, not after he can talk to you. If that is indeed the case, you should give him some time with his friends in the corps. The socializing in the group can be helpful to him, it keeps the group he's in tightly knit and it can help further his career.

If that socializing reason isn't the case then he isn't being wise. If he's a heavy drinker, and he doesn't do it for socialising reasons, he may have a problem, in that he may try to drown his bad memories so to speak. While drinking works to forget bad memories, it has other bad repercussions. Substantial alcohol use, invokes mood swings and on the long run makes one more emotionally unstable. That happens because of the way substance abuse affects the pleasure center of the brain and the way neurotransmitters work. While he's drunk, he'll have pleasant time, but after that he'll be more depressed and for a longer period and it is this depressed state that makes him more unstable. He could also get addicted. Whether he does get addicted or not is by the way hereditary. Another possible downside of prolonged heavy drinking is that he can damage his memory. He could eventually get what is known as Korsakoff's syndrome. That is a form of dementia of the short term memory that is caused by prolonged shortage of Vitamin B. Oddly enough beer contains a lot of vitamin B, but it is the bad alcohols in often cheap alcoholic beverages that destroyes vitamin B. It is an irreversible damage to the short term memory.

If you wish to have more time, but can't force him to make more time, then I do have some advice for you. Eventhough you have a good reason to be selfish, if it is the latter case, you shouldn't act like that and show it, because then you're only aggrevating him. That doesn't mean you shouldn't state your wishes, but constantly pressuring him doesn't help either. The best way to get him to spend more time with you, is to make the talk pleasant and comfortable. In other words coax him.

I can't exactly tell you how to make things pleasant and comfortable. You should find some common ground on what you both like to talk about. I can however give you some pointers on what makes an unpleasant conversation and thus what you should avoid.

He may not want to talk about work. There's two possible reasons for that. (1) He isn't allowed to talk about it for security reasons, so if you push him on that, he'll get stressed because then he will be thinking all the time about what his superiors think about what he'll say. (2) He doesn't like talking about it because it invokes unpleasant memories.

On the other hand he may want to talk about work, including some more unpleasant aspects of work. If that is the case and he wants to talk about it, but you do not want to make it feel that unpleasant then you need to relativize it, tone it down or put it into perspective. A good and easy way to relativize things is to use humor. That doesn't mean you should make all kinds of edgy jokes, but a play on words and little irony can do wonders sometimes.

While you want to avoid the unpleasantries that doesn't mean you shouldn't inform him of any bad news from the home front, because you should tell him, but again putting things in perspective may help to break the bad news from the home front. That doesn't mean you should make jokes about the family dog that died though, because that would make things awkward and out of place. The reason you should tell those things, is that if you don't and he finds out about it later, he'll be thinking, "but why didnt she tell me?", and that doesn't help you.

Another thing that helps to keep things pleasant is not be nagging and whining to him about your co-workers or neighbours at home, especially if it's about people he doesn't know. While it may help yourself, it doesn't help him to worry about it, since there's little he can do about it. Remember you're 7000 miles apart. If you really want to talk about such things and get it of your chest so to speak, talk to your mother, or some female neighbour that you can gossip with.

Another way to keep things pleasant is not emphasize his shortcomings, like him being away, or him not spending more time with you. You should certainly state your wishes, but don't repeat yourself and say it over and over again. Because one who is too persistent on her own views finds few who agree with her. Remember he can't do anything about his shortcomings, he is the way he is and he is 7000 miles away to earn a living.

So bottomline it boils down to this: talk about the positive sides and put the negative sides into perspective.

Its kinda of like this old saying: "Goodness in words creates trust, goodness in thinking creates depth, goodness in giving creates love."

As the package shows, you're already good at giving, you're definitely creating love between the two of you. What you're doing in the conversation with him is create trust and it is trust that creates comfort and it is that thing that will make him want to talk to you and spend time with you, even if he rather be drinking with his friends.

If you're good at that he'll want to talk to you, in fact he'll be looking forward to it and that is what your focus should be on. It is the best middle ground you can find right now. Remember you don't want him to spend less time with you, but you also don't want him to wish that he were at home right now. What you want is for him to talk with you more often.